


Recipe for disaster

by Phantastic_Whovian



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghost Hunters, But I'll probably end up making it angsty, F/F, F/M, Gen, Ghost Hunters, Im attempting to write some fluff, M/M, Multi, Oops, Other, Should be fluffy, Trans Alexander Hamilton, Trans John Laurens, Trans Male Character, Trans Thomas Jefferson, Youtuber AU, as always, it turned into a youtube au, youtube au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-09 23:05:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12286110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantastic_Whovian/pseuds/Phantastic_Whovian
Summary: Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson are ghost hunters, traveling around the world (and by the world I mean their state) to capture ghosts-any ghosts at all-on film. It's a recipe for disaster, really.





	1. "There's something in here with us..."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks! Despite already having three WIP's and recently abandoning my last Hamilton fanfic...I got this idea and just couldn't resist. I can't promise I'll update often, but I'll definitely try.

“Look,” Alex says, staring directly into the camera. “The content you’re about to see...is incredibly terrifying. It may give you nightmares, or keep you up until three in the morning wondering if your life has a purpose, or if`anything you do will ever even be worth it in the end, and if a monster came to get you right now it’d actually be-”

“Ooooookkaayyy, and we’re reeling it in now.” John says from behind the camera. “Find some chill, Alex, we’ve only been rolling for thirty seconds.”

“Sorry.” Alex says, having the decency to look sheepish.

“I never thought I’d say this, but thank you, John.” A southern voice drawls from somewhere off camera. Alex shoots a glare at him.

“New rule-if you’re gonna talk you have to actually be on camera.” Alex reluctantly moves over as a man with lots of hair, and wearing a magenta coat, of all things, crosses his arms belligerently.

“Whatever. Hey, everyone. I’m Thomas, and I just want to state for the record that there are no such things as ghosts.”

“Ignore him guys, he’s just pissy because I dragged him here.”

“Face it, Alex. You’re superstitious.” Thomas replies with an eye roll.

“Anyways!” Alex says, attempting to bring them back on subject, “We’re standing outside an abandoned house right now, that’s rumored to be...haunted.” He makes his voice low there, attempting to be scary.

“Nice spooky voice, you sound like you’re constipated.” Thomas snorts. “Whatever, let’s get going.”

“Oh man,” Alex coughs, “It’s so dusty in here.” Thomas pushes through some cobwebs, following him.

“It’s an abandoned house, I don’t think there’s a maid service.” He snarks.

“Woah. What the fuck is that?” Alex asks, pointing towards the stairs.

“Uhhhh...stairs?”

“Not the stairs, jackass. That huge stain. Don’t you see it?” Thomas peers closer. He can indeed make out a faint brown stain.

“I don’t see anything.” He says.

“Whatever. That’s definitely blood.”

“Or, you know, someone spilled something.”

“Blood, Thomas.” Alex insists. He hears John snort from behind the camera, and flashes him a grin. “John, this is a serious matter.” Before he can say more, he’s coughing again, wheezing slightly for breath.

“Yeah, John, stop laughing at your boyfriend.” Thomas says, a slight frown appearing on his face.

“John wishes I was his boyfriend.” Alex replies.

“You get me, you get Laf and Herc, so if you’re prepared for that...” John replies.

“Hey, I love you guys, but not that way.” Alex snorts. “Hey, Thomas, see anything?”

“Yeah, I see a dumbass.” He grins, laughing at Alex’s offended “hey!” 

“He got you good, Alex.” John teases.

“Face it, Alex, there’s nothing remotely scary here.” Thomas says.

“No, there is!” Alex insists. “Let’s, uh, let’s go upstairs.” He coughs again, missing the concerned look that Thomas shoots his way.

“If there were a ghost here, it’d probably be trying to kill someone. Preferably Alex.” Thomas says into the camera, stage whispering for effect.

“I heard that!” Alex calls, still slightly breathless from another coughing fit.

“Good!” Thomas replied. And then, to John, in a much quieter voice “Did he bring his inhaler?”

“No, but I’ve got it in my pocket. I’m waiting for him to admit that this was a bad idea.”

“I also heard that! I’ve got ears like a bat!” Alex calls. “You both can fucking fight me! Also, I don’t need my fucking inhaler, I’m fi-” He bends over into another coughing fit, making harsh coughing sounds.

“Mmm-hmmm.” John replies. He fishes the inhaler from his pocket, and tosses it towards Alex, who fumbles as he tries to catch it.

“We are not including this part.” He says.

“Oh, we are so including this part.” Thomas smirks. Alex rolls his eyes and shoves the inhaler back into his pocket.

“Whatever. You guys feel that draft?” He drifts out of the room without waiting for them to follow, though of course they do anyway. Thomas hears a muffled “Oh shit” and immediately quickens his pace, John doing the same. Alex is standing in front of a broken window, his eyes wide.

“Guys.” He says slowly.   
“Alex, did you break the fucking window?” Thomas asks, wearily. Alex doesn’t even pretend to be offended, just shaking his head.

“No. Look, the glass is inside. The window was broken from the outside. And it’s not dusty either, it’s recent.”

“Maybe it was a storm?” John suggest weakly. All three pairs of eyes instinctively travel to the window, to confirm that there isn’t a cloud in the sky.

“There’s someone, or something, in here with us.” Alex says, face screaming ‘panic’

“Okay, let’s not assume that.” Thomas says, trying to remain calm. “I’m sure there’s plenty of-” The door slams closed behind them, interrupting his sentence. He glances at Alex, and then walks over to the door to try the knob.  
“It won’t open.” He says, allowing some panic to leak into his voice. “Guys, it won’t open.”

“Oh shit.” Alex mutters. “We have to go out the window.”

“What?” Thomas and John say as one.  
“The door’s closed and locked, and there’s no other way out. Look, even if you don’t think it was a ghost-which it definitely was-I don’t wanna starve up here, do you?”   
“There’s broken glass sticking out of it.” Thomas protests. “Alex, it’s a two story drop!”

“Better than three stories, anyway.” Alex says, and then he’s running. Thomas is moving almost before him, but he hasn’t got a chance of catching him. Alex sails out the window, almost gracefully, and Thomas curses, stopping to watch Alex roll, landing safely-as far as he can tell.  
“Son of a bitch.” He says. “That fucking idiot.” And then he jumps, freefalling into the air. The landing is jarring, and his legs buckle under him, joints aching in protest.

“Hey,” Alex says, attempting to sound blase. He’s got a cut on his cheek from the glass, and he’s holding his wrist weirdly. “Glad you made it.” And then someone lands on the ground behind them. It’s John, cradling his camera like a baby.

“Come on!” Alex says. “Fucking go!” The three of them start sprinting, Thomas limping slightly. Alex and Thomas hurl themselves into the backseat, while John throws the camera onto the passengers seat, and floors it. Alex holds a hand to his chest, breathing heavily, while Thomas fumbles in the pocket of Alex’s abandoned sweater for his inhaler.

“Here.” He says. John curses suddenly.

“Alex, what the fuck were you thinking, running in your binder? Same goes for you, Thomas!”

“I’m fine.” Both Alex and Thomas say in the same breath, Alex considerably more faint. John grits his teeth, and doesn’t say anything.

“You can’t say anything, John.” Alex says, when he gets his voice back. “Before you got top surgery, you wore your binder 24/7.” John stays silent, which Thomas interprets as defeat.

“If one of you breaks a rib, I’m not taping it up.” Alex snorts.

“John, you may be my best friend, but Burr is a doctor. I’m asking him to tape my ribs. Not that they need taping because I’m not going to break one.”

“Says you. I said that too, you know.” Alex frowns.

“You never broke a rib, only bruised them.”

“No, I just told you I never broke one."

"Unbelievable." Alex mutters. "Un-fucking-believable."

The rest of the ride is spent in terse silence, nobody saying anything.

Alex really hopes they got enough footage inside the house.


	2. Everyone ships Jamilton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ghostie ghost...come out wherever you are...and murder me...please...”
> 
> “Hey, focus,Thomas.That’s not helping. Time enough for wanting death later.”
> 
> “I always want death.” 
> 
> “That’s a huge mood.”

When Thomas walks into the living room, after his shower, Alex is sitting on the couch, editing a video with his headphones on.

“Hey,” Thomas says, “Did you do anything about that cut on your cheek?” Alex waves a hand dismissively. 

“I will.” Thomas rolls his eyes. He disappears into the kitchen, and re-emerges wielding a first aid kit. 

“Alright. Headphones off.” Alex rolls his eyes, but removes them, discarding them carelessly onto his computer. “And don’t think you’re gonna get away with wearing that binder. That comes off too.” Thomas demands, crossing his arms. Alex scowls belligerently.

“But-”

“Off.” Alex groans, but complies, pulling his shirt over his head to remove it. They’d long since become comfortable being shirtless around each other, dysphoria be damned. Thomas winces at the angry red marks adorning his side, but says nothing. He rips open an alcohol wipe, the smell stinging his nose, and carefully presses it to Alex’s cheek. Alex shudders, but otherwise is still. 

“Ow.” He mutters through gritted teeth. Thomas snorts.

“Baby.” But he’s careful to do it more gently from then on. When he places the band aid to his cheek, his fingers gently brush across Alex’s skin, and Thomas jumps. 

“There.” He says, crumpling the trash in his hand.

“Hey, did you ever make sure your knee was okay? I mean, it was already hurt. That landing couldn’t’ve been good for it.”

“It’s fine.” Thomas replies. “Pretty bruised, but nothing too serious.”  Alex frowns, but slides his headphones back on.

“Oh, by the way, Eliza posted a new video.”

“Oh, she did? What is it?”

“Girlfriend does my makeup. It’s basically just her and Mariah being sickeningly domestic.”

“Sounds adorably gross. I’ll check it out, thanks.” The two lapse into comfortable silence, each typing away on their own laptop.

  
  


“Wanna tell the viewers why we’re here this week, Alex?” John asks, exhaustion and annoyance evident in his voice.

“Well, after we...made a tactical retreat-”

“You mean jumped out a window and ran away?” Thomas cuts in, looking slightly amused.

“We made a  _ tactical retreat _ .” Alex insists. “Anyways, we decided-”

“ _ You _ decided.” Thomas interrupts again. Alex turns to glare at him.

“We’re back at the house, because we wanted to investigate more, and find out what we’re dealing with.”

“We’re dealing with tons of fucking dust is what we’re dealing with.” Thomas grouches.

“There is a shit ton of dust.” Alex agrees. “Okay, last time we were upstairs when the ghost made contact, so let’s start there.” Neither Thomas nor John argues, as Alex begins picking his way across the room towards the stairs. 

 

“Ghostie ghost...come out wherever you are...and murder me...please...” 

“Hey, focus,Thomas.That’s not helping.” Alex says. “Time enough for wanting death later.”

“I  _ always _  want death.” Thomas replies.

“That’s a huge mood.” Alex says, distracted by the chandelier on the ceiling. “Oh my god, is that real glass?”

“Probably.” Just then, a noise sounds from the bedroom.

“Was that...?” Thomas asks.

“That’s where the spirit trapped us last time.  _ Don’t _ go in, we don’t want to get trapped again.” 

“Do you have the salt?” John asked, his voice uncharacteristically nervous. Alex reaches into one of his coat pockets, and produces a large salt container

“Yeah. Get over here, guys.” Thomas and John move closer as Alex begins to spread the salt into a circle. A breeze ruffles Alex’s hair as he does, and he drops the salt.

“It was-it was the broken window. It’s making a draft.” Thomas rationalizes. “Just a draft.” Alex picks up the salt and continues the circle. 

“Now what?” John asks, when it’s finished.

“Now we wait.”

Wait they do, for nearly an hour. 

“It’s not coming.” Alex says glulmly. “I hate to admit it but maybe this was a bust.”

“Look, if there  _ was _ a spirit here, it wouldn’t reveal itself, would it?” Thomas says. “I mean, it can’t hurt us while we’re in the salt.” 

“That’s true.” Alex says after a moment, his spirits visibly lifting. “I think we should close the case on this one-definitely haunted.”

“Yeah, ok.” John snorts. “Whatever. Let’s get outta here-I want a sandwich.”  Alex drags his foot though the salt circle, effectively ruining it. Something smashes on the downstairs floor.

“Holy shit.” Alex yelps. “It’s the  _ fucking ghost! _ ” John is the first to step foot on the stairs, wincing when they creak under his feet. Behind them, several doors slam shut in succession. Alex tears down the stairs, past John, without a second thought. A window breaks in the kitchen as the three sprint for the exit.

“It’s- It’s just the storm.” Thomas pants. Sure enough, it started pouring at some point while they were in the house, and lightning lights up the sky for a brief succession. “Old windows-creaky doors-” The three stand on the lawn for a moment, rain soaking them to the core, as the front door slams shut behind them. “Wind currents?” Thomas offers. 

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Alex says, shaking violently.

 

“So, consensus?” Thomas asks, using his cell phone camera to videotape Alex’s thoughts. The trees and houses rush by them as John drives increasingly faster.

“ _ Definitely _ haunted.” Alex says, fervently.

“Yeah, sure.” Thomas says sarcastically. “It was just wind currents from the storm, Alex, there wasn’t any spirit.”

“You say that now, but you weren’t so sure when we were in the house.” Alex shoots back. 

“I’m always sure-and I’m always right.” Thomas replies, a smug grin gracing his face.

“You wish, asshole.” 

“Could you two shut up?” John asks. “It’s hard enough driving in this storm, and you two bickering is  _ not helping things. _ ” The two lapse into silence, staring out their respective windows.

“I’m just saying-” Alex says after a moment.

“Uh-uh. Nope. Zip it.” John says. “You two will be home in five minutes and you can argue all you want then.” Alex crosses his arms sullenly.

“Whatever.” He grumbles. 

 

Alex scrolls through the comments on their last video idly, smiling a little to himself

 

**jamiltonshipper: WHY ARENT WE TALKING ABOUT THE LOOK ON THOMAS’S FACE WHEN THAT DOOR SLAMMED**

**Lookitsemily: @jamiltonshipper I LOVE YOUR USERNAME OMG**

**oLIVIa: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^**

**jamiltonshipper: lbr we all know they’re meant to be**

 

Alex still isn’t used to ‘jamilton’. Ever since their first video, the viewers had begun a trend of shipping them. He’s very familiar with the concept of shipping-he’s a massive shipper himself, not that he would admit it-but the fact is that people shipping him with Thomas feels...kinda weird. 

“Watcha looking at?” Thomas asks, leaning over his shoulder. His breath ghosts across Alex’s cheek.

“Not much, scrolling through the comments.” He replies.

“I thought you were editing?”

“I was. I, uh, got sidetracked.” He admits sheepishly. Rolling his eyes, Thomas moves to sit down next to him, pulling out his phone. Alex can see from where he’s sitting that he’s scrolling through tumblr, and has to refrain from commenting. The two sit in silence, not wanting to disturb the tentative peace.


	3. In which Eliza is a fucking  s a v a g e

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza is fucking savage and im not even sorry (you go babe alex fucking deserves it)

**Alexander Hamilton**

**@youngscrappyandhungry**

 

**Good news! Me and Thomas are doing a collab with @e_schuy this week, should be posted on friday! So yeah there’s something to look forward to**

 

**Thomas Jefferson**

**@macaronifucker**

 

**Lets be real @youngscrappyandhungry they’re only gonna watch for eliza**

 

**Alexander Hamilton**

**@youngscrappyandhungry**

 

**I can’t even deny it @macaronifucker**

 

“So, we have someone here with us today y’all might recognize.” Thomas says, actually smiling at the camera. Eliza stands in between him and Alex, grinning. She gives the camera a small wave.

“Yeah, you guys have only been asking for this collab for  _ months. _ ” Alex replies, rolling his eyes. “So yeah, guys, this is our friend Eliza! In case you don’t know, I went on her channel and she did my makeup. Several times.”

“I’m definitely linking to that in the description-it’s a good laugh.” Thomas says. Alex reaches behind Eliza’s back to hit him-perhaps a little harder than necessary. Eliza stares into the camera like she’s on the office.

“I thought I was here to film a video, not babysit.” Alex and Thomas turn to her with identical looks of shock, as John cracks up behind the camera. 

“Oh my god.” He gasps.

“It wasn’t that funny, John.” Alex says.

“Well, you are the height of a child.” Thomas cuts in with a devilish grin.

“Okay, I honestly just came out here to hunt ghosts, and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.” 

“We aren’t even hunting a ghost today.” Thomas says, exasperated.

  
There’s a jumpcut, and the camera refocuses on the three of them sitting at the table.

“Okay, Eliza, are you ready for this?” Alex asks.

“Pfft, this coming from the kid who peed his pants during my sixth grade sleepover because we watched ‘It’.” She replies, winking at the camera.

“Okay, what have I  _ ever _ done to you to deserve this kind of treatment, Eliza?”

“You  _ cheated _ on me.”

“Okay, but-” Alex starts.

“Twice!”

“Yeah, Alex you might wanna just shut up.” Thomas says, looking amused.

“Jeez, thought I’d asked the  _ nice _ sister to be on my channel.” Alex grumbles.

“Oh, you did. You wouldn’t last two seconds with Angie.”

“Don’t I know it-I still have nightmares about the last time she was angry at me.” He shudders.

“I would make fun of you for that, but honestly Angelica scares me more than anyone.”

“Not to mention Peggy’s...actually alarmingly large collection of knives.” Alex thinks aloud.

“Yeah, isn’t she like, a high schooler still?” Thomas asks. Alex shoves him.

“Come on, man, she’s worked hard to get into college.” To the camera- “Sorry Pegs, we love you.”

“Sorry.” Thomas echoes.

“Guys, as funny as the banter is, maybe you should talk about, like, an actual case?” John suggests from behind the camera.

“Oh, right. Yeah.” Alex sits up a little straighter, and turns to Eliza.

“Let’s get this show on the road.” She grins.

“Today we’re talking about.... _ illuminati. _ ” Alex grins. Thomas facepalms.

“Of all the things I expected...” Eliza starts. She shakes her head. “I kinda wanna know what you think about the illuminati, honestly.”

“Oh, it’s real. 100% real.” Alex says without hesitation. Eliza and Thomas turn simultaneously to stare at him.

“Is he joking?” Eliza stage whispers.

“I honestly can’t tell.” Thomas replies.

  
  
  


“New world order? Yeah, sounds legit.” Thomas snarks.

“Hey, I don’t make the theories, I just tell you guys about them.” Alex defends. “Anyways guys, let us know what you think in the comments. Are the illuminati real? Is Eliza the best person ever? Is Thomas’s jacket hideous?” 

“Hey!” Thomas protests.

“Everyone’s thinking it, Thomas. It’s  _ magenta. _ ”  Alex says, giving him a deadpan face. Thomas sulks, folding his arms and slumping in the chair. “So yeah! To check out Eliza’s video’s, click the icon right here.” Aex points, and a bubble appears on the screen. “And as always, you can click here to see more of us, though I’m frankly not sure why you’d want to.”

“Stay on topic, Alex.” Thomas says.

“Right. Please leave a comment or like, I feed off positive feedback.”

“No wonder you’re so skinny.” Thomas snarks, holding out a hand to fistbump Eliza. Alex manages to ignore this.

“Well, take it easy everyone, and we’ll see you next video!” John shuts off the camera, and Eliza and Alex high five.

“That was actually pretty interesting.” She admits. 

“Of course, I was the one talking about it.” Alex replies.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Thomas says, grinning at him.

“Ugh, shut up. I’m starving-you guys wanna like, order a pizza?”

“Oh my god, yes.” Eliza groans. “But no pineapple this time.”

“ _ Thank _ you.” Thomas says.

“You guys are heathens. Pineapple is the  _ best _ on pizza.” Alex says, hand on his hip.Thomas rolls his eyes.

“Sure, okay. Keep lying to yourself.” Alex makes a face at him, pulling out his phone. It rings for a few long seconds, and then picks up. 

“Hello? Yeah, can I please have two large pepperoni pizzas?”

 

**Jamiltonshipper: anyways eliza slays my entire life im stanning so hard**

 

**21panickingpilotsatthefalloutcrybabydisco: oh my god eliza fucking came for him and his children and his cow**

 

**Loverboylance: He protecc**

**He attac**

**But most importantly**

**He feeds off positive feedback**

 

**Peggy Schuyler**

**@margaritasforall**

 

**Omg @e.schuy im loving the sass in your new vid w/ alex and thomas**

  
  


**Angelica Schuyler**

**@mindatwork**

 

**And I thought I had roasted him  @margaritasforall @e.schuy**

  
  


**Peggy Schuyler**

**@margaritasforall**

 

**Roasted him? you traumatized him! (not that im complaining) @e.schuy @mindatwork**

  
  


**Thomas Jefferson**

**@macaronifucker**

 

**Have y’all never hear of texting before**

  
  


**Angelica Schuyler**

**@mindatwork**

 

**shut up thomas**

  
  


**Thomas Jefferson**

**@macaronifucker**

 

**understandable have a nice day**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (in case it wasn't clear, Alex cheated on her with mariah and with john before john got together with laf and hercules)


End file.
